29 April 2014

Run away


can't come soon



16 April 2014


I will
start by kissing
each finger tip,
each knuckle,

both palms and each thumb

I will kiss your
the nape of your neck

Your cheeks, your nose,
the funny bald spot in your beard.

I will kiss your
your elbows,
your perfect
long thighs.

Your tummy
gets extra special attention:
tickles my nose,
my lips drag and

I will
kiss and kiss and kiss you;
I will kiss you
until kisses seem
meaningless like a
long repeated word,
then I will kiss you

14 April 2014

to my father

if she loved you
she wouldn't
drink with you.

if you loved her
you wouldn't
have to drink
to be with her.

02 April 2014

Spring and this

Everything inside me screams idon'twantaboyfriend

but when I think of your soft mouth and your strong arms
it takes all
my power
to keep from
pulling back my foot (half out the door,)
calling in foreversick to work
and crawling into
your bedandsmile.

but I know:
and this
can't last forever.

27 March 2014

Cubicle life

6:00 alarms buzzzzzzz

7:00 in the car/ npr/ life goes on outside this: airplanes, landslides. Traffic lights.

8:00 arrivee', loopety loop parking garage bigger than the mcmansions I pass.

8:30 third bad office espresso, though I am wide awake: more to suppress hunger for food and a better life.

-work, type, clackclackclack, fyi, see note, work-

1:30 devour my carefully constructed salad and read the entire internet.

3:00 can I grab you for a quick meeting?

-work, clackclack, rinnnnnng, quarantine summary 0, howwasyourweekend whatareyourplansfortheweekend, work-

4:50 stare at the clock.

Tick tock




5:00 go to the gym/ run for three miles while staying in exactly the same spot: realize this is a metaphor for my life

6:00 in the car/npr/ life has gone on around me: healthcare, russia. Traffic lights.

25 March 2014


I am
And flush
With thoughts
Of your
Handsome face &
Big hands:

I want
To climb
Like a magnolia tree.

27 February 2014


his heart is made
of marshmallow fluff and
bundles of old disposable razors

he is
but the
kind of tall that is
noticeable from a distance,
like a politician
or a sitcom father.

and on the
sunniest day
of the whole
long, icy winter
he drove her
to the path
under the canopy
of bare Tennessee pines,
kissed her neck-
and grabbed her waist-
not softly-

breathe in and out
rustle on the leaves
feel the air 
             on faces and fingertips

he smells like clove and honey.

08 February 2014


he stared
at me
all night
a five course dinner
after a month
lost at

and when he pushed
me up
my car
and kissed me
hard and
i couldn't
to be

31 January 2014


Carlotta Marie Green was the funniest of funny. She laughed at all the melted ice cream and cried at all the comedies. When Carlotta was 6 years old she cut off all her hair to look like the neighbor boy Frank, and when she was 14 she kissed him so hard he almost fell backward into the yellow siding of the house.

Carlotta carries a book of quotations with her doodles in the margins. Her favorite skirt is a turquoise circle with big orange rose blossoms scattered across the front. She looks into the sky and says "Hey there universe, can you gimme a break?" That is what her mom used to say. "Can you gimme a break?"

Carlotta was 6 credits away from a degree in biology, and 2 kisses away from an affair with the head of the Spanish department. His  eyes were so dark, and so calm. And he always seems ready for a new shave. But that all seems long ago. Perhaps, Carlotta ponders, it is time to cut her hair again.

When Carlotta thinks about her divorce her eyes water and her upper lip quivers. Then she looks up at that same big sky, that same big swirl of stars. "Can you gimme a break?" she asks.

24 January 2014

the christmas present// our relationship

first an empty,
vaulted promise
from his lips

wherein i fulfill
my end
of the bargain
with kindness
and care,

and he
takes all i have
without giving
in return.

20 January 2014

role models

i admire the girls
who rest a manicured hand
over the lip of their wine glass,
shake their heads
"oh no, no thank you, that is enough"

the girl who
throws her head back,
twinkle in her eye,
and says
"I made him wait. I made him work for it."

the girls
don't sell everything they own
to run away
to Paris,
only to find themselves right back where they started
(The girls who
asked about health insurance, and
apartment fees, and
a 5 year plan)

the girls,
those girls,
who take as prescribed,
rinse and repeat,
and are happy waking up
next to a nice, stable man
who buys them lingerie from Victoria's Secret
and takes
them to the Cheesecake Factory on
their birthday

The girls happy
to live at 7,
a reasonable

i admire those girls.

i never waved away wine
or turned down cute boys
or stopped before the last piece
or let complacent mean happy

why have a glass
when you can have a a bottle-
that turns giggles into
rolling laughter,
why kiss when you can tangle together?
and why tangle when you can
make the whole
world move beneath you?

why stop at 10 when 12 may be possible?
why watch Sabrina
when you can be Sabrina?

i don't know
where my brain went wrong-
where it sprung a leak.

because asking for more more more
only works
for so long;
when more is never enough,


is the depth of a heavy heart.

11 January 2014


i've been
every morning with my
pillows on the floor,
the sheets
torn from the corners,
my legs
in blankets and air

toss and turn
is a cute
bit of phrase
and my mother
says i just
to relax and let
myself rest-

but i think my body
is just
to wake up
but [here].

02 January 2014


 the driest memories /
 stop / create /
 fill the footprints and green heart and read /
 follow back / 
think / 
grayscale / 
forward moving salt water