bargaining with a higher power

If I get this job

in Italy

I promise to wear

fake eyelashes and red lipstick everyday

and never ever sulk and

Remember every late night

and write every letter

and learn how to bake bread

and return every phone call, and start

to pull all the days off my day calendar again.

If you give me some direction I’ll take it with bells on,

all forward motion and sidesteps and skips

I will buy fresh flowers every week

and have clean sheets and loose leaf tea

I’ll call everyone more and remember to do my hair.

I will

Open up my heart again

and let the good ones in, I’ll hold them tight and stay all night

I’ll remember to eat

and wake before the alarm

Stop biting my nails and paying late fees

If I get a good chance, if I get a small push

I promise promise promise to be happy again.