16 September 2010

thoughts in the summer before law school

March 3, 2006

I miss my bicycle. I've been thinking, if I don't get accepted to any law schools, I want to find a city to live and work in-- a new city, where I can ride my bicycle and live within limited economic means with lots of ethnic restaurants and weather where I can grow daisy bushes and maybe some water nearby? I could wait tables until I get some sort of 'real' job and I could volunteer at the woman's shelter and take up some adult ballet classes. And maybe get my ESL license?

I have no plan/I have no future/I am free and oh-so trapped.

PS Tomorrow is my birthday. Yay for 23!

first love

I've only ever really been in love once, when I was with my first college boyfriend. While packing I came across this journal entry I wrote shortly after meeting him:

September 14, 2001

I am so fucking smitten. Last night was absolutely wonderful. I met Armon just two days ago, but I feel like I've known him forever. 
He came over to study. When I first saw him I stopped a little- he was so hot in the middle of the lobby of the dorm. I was thinking "I really hope he thinks I am pretty" because I was feeling awfully self-conscious, but I got comfortable with him so quickly and his vibes were just so good. Everything about him was good. 
We went downtown and walked around, stopping by Junkman's Daughter and Smoothie King  and Blue Sky for coffee. I knew that even if he didn't like me we were going to be great friends because we just went so well together. 
We went to his dorm to get his books and I saw his pretty guitar, then we went back to my dorm room to start studying. We met his friend Bob there, and let me tell you- Bob is an awesome guy. I really hope we become good friends. He lives in the same dorm building as I do. 
So we started studying kind of, but kept talking about music and other things. It was fun and silly and how I had imagined college to be: sitting around, studying and listening to music and laughing....
After Bob left I talked to Armon for a long time. I was pulling super heavy flirting mode with him. I guess it worked because we kissed and it was soft and sweet and delicious. It was getting late, around 2 i think, so I told him he had to go. We went into the hall and I couldn't stop thinking about his lips. 
We were absolutely going at each other like crazy. We kissed together perfectly, we meshed. We took the stairs the 6 flights down and kissed on every landing. It felt so nice and I wanted to write about it so badly. 

something nice

hmm? what's that?
oh well,
thanks very much..... beam

12 September 2010


in old hollywood
they would put lens filters on the cameras

to shoot the starlets

i drink vodka before I see my mother
the same reason.

everyone looks better in a fuzzy light.