31 August 2005


Anabelle Sue woke up with a bright white bandage around her head.
“What happened?” she asked.
“Why, you’ve been struck by lightening dear!” exclaimed her mother, happy to see her daughter open her eyes.
“What are the odds? What are the odds sis?” asked her brother. “Well, they’ve got to be about 10000 to 1, at least.”
Anabelle stood up and smiled for her family. “Hmm, I don’t know. I feel fine” she said and walked out of the hospital.
She called her voicemail and found she had 10 messages. Her boyfriend said “What are the odds baby? What are the odds?!” Her cousin said “I’ve never known someone stuck by lightening before. What are the odds of that?!”
She stopped listening to her messages.
The second lightening bolt stuck her three days later. She was walking through the grocery store parking lot to her car when she realized she forgot to buy some hummus. As she turned around she felt light and energy in her bones. She drove herself to the hospital.
“What are the odds!” said the doctor. “Well they have to be about 4.000.000- to 1!”
“Amazing” said the local paper. “Has this ever happened before ? What are the odds?”
“I really don’t know” said Anabelle. “I feel fine.”
The third and fourth lightening bolts came in the backyard playing badminton and at a toll stop on the interstate, respectively. Anabelle Sue felt the fourth travel from her shoulder to her arm, tingling straight to her fingers.
“I know you,” said the woman at the toll booth. “You just keep on getting struck by lightening! Golly, what are the odds?”
The fifth lightening bolt was what sent her into the national news. Soon talk shows were calling and reporters were lining up outside of her door. “It has to be about 10 trillion to 1” they would mumble.
Their eyes would open wide when they saw her. She had not a hair out of place. “I don’t know” she would say. “I feel fine.”
It was on Oprah, the day after the sixth bolt, that Anabelle Sue wanted to end it all.
“This woman has been through so much” said Oprah. “Struck by lightening 6 times? What on earth are the odds of that?”
“I…. I don’t…. I don’t know” said Anabelle Sue.
Back stage, a woman dressed in a black suit and polka dot scarf motioned Anabelle Sue over to the side.
The two women stared at one another, not knowing what to say. Finally:
“One in 3,000 for people who live to be 80, according to National Weather Service statistics based on Census information.” said the woman.
“I’m sorry?” said Anabelle Sue.
“The odds. Those are the odds. To be, you know, struck by lightening. The first time anyway” said the woman. “Are you okay?”
Anabelle threw her arms around the woman and hugged her as tight as she could. “Thank you,” she said.
“I’ve been attacked by a shark 3 times” said the woman.
The two held hands and exited the building.

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