(after bruce covey)
iceberg: crisphead, $20 dollar call-girls make magic swivel stars sugar
endive: with cellophane aeroplanes one two three fork, sold!
romaine: romantic filler fellow, now at the bottom forever
cabbage: en francais chou chou and maybe me and you too
spinach: repent and be saved or else sex therapy with apples and garlic
red leaf/ green leaf: always quarrelling over the meaning of absolutes- everything, nothing