10 June 2005

.the past and the present make a monster.

I am trying to put it all together trying to make sense of it all
*Couple has conflicting personal beliefs
my very first kiss was on the stoop in my backyard
it was 7th grade, close to summer.
my parents were inside watching an episode of the X files.
there were mosquitoes all around
I remember he put his face close to mine
so our noses touched. he held there for a moment.
I knew he was going to kiss me and I wasn’t scared at all

*Cruel treatment
he twisted around his nose and I remember he said
‘you look funny like this’
I thought he was taking too long and I was growing impatient
the crickets seemed indignant that night

he finally touched his mouth to mine in a twisting wet not perfectly comfortable way
but I was already delirious

*Irretrievable Breakdown of some kind

I’m just trying to find some peace, trying to put it together

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