.the past and the present make a monster.

I am trying to put it all together trying to make sense of it all

*Couple has conflicting personal beliefs
my very first kiss was on the stoop in my backyard
it was 7^th grade, close to summer.

*Desertion
my parents were inside watching an episode of the X files.
there were mosquitoes all around

*Adultery
I remember he put his face close to mine
so our noses touched. he held there for a moment.
I knew he was going to kiss me and I wasn’t scared at all

*Cruel treatment
he twisted around his nose and I remember he said
‘you look funny like this’

*Bigamy
I thought he was taking too long and I was growing impatient
the crickets seemed indignant that night

*Imprisonment/Institutionalization
he finally touched his mouth to mine in a twisting wet not perfectly comfortable way
but I was already delirious

*Irretrievable Breakdown of some kind
I’m just trying to find some peace, trying to put it together