deferment

lose everything.

Lose the stamps on my passport

my own room to rent,

daily lectures and gossip and bits of chocolate and wine bottles.

I miss everything about my previous life

even all the mistakes and consequences.

Now I have my eyeliner

Gaze through the window,

Smoke pot before work and reckless emails to exes.

Self-destruction is no game for me

and yet, I am so good at this?

I see no reflection,

The body has let me down/my slanderer my body. gives away all my secrets.

Tell a friend about «Somethings must change!»

but FOUR YEARS?

I would like to say that I will try my best-

but I will not.