here's to a new year

sometimes i forget
and build a house
on quicksand,
feed peanuts and shellfish
to those with
weak immune systems,
swear in front of my grandmother
and sometimes
i move from cities
and countries
at inopportune times...
sometimes i ruin absolutely everything
and i can usually
admit when i am (disastrously) wrong...
it was wrong to paint
that room cantaloupe colored,
it was wrong to
sleep with that boy from
great britain,
it was wrong to wear black legwarmers
with green tights
in college that one time....
i should not have


i won't call old M any more.
i won't drink until my birthday-- okay, perhaps start that one tomorrow....

PS

My first post of the New Year was my 300th post of the blog. Thanks for all my new readers! My little piece of the internet means a lot to me, and I love sharing it with you.

haikus about men i have slept with, set 5

X

You were perfection

on paper, but in real life:

Frustration defined.

XVI

We kissed by the Seine,

But you were such a man-child

it was always doomed.

III

You kissed me so hard

that my lip was bruised; I thought

it was hot back then.

wish jar

When I was in college I stared a "wish jar." I guess I've always been a worrier, and sometimes I get so intensely into my own thoughts I could stay up all night racking my brain for solutions to my little hiccups in life. I painted an old pickle jar and started writing my wishes on little pieces of paper and sticking them inside... It was so cathartic. It did not put things completely out of my head but it did feel like a tiny weight was off of my shoulders. When I moved away from college in 2005 I read all the little papers, and they seemed so silly: "I wish he would call me back" "I wish I would get an A on this French test" "I wish I could fit into my blue dress"

I need to start the wish jar again,

but oh dear how the wishes have changed...