stupid

Sasha worked with Benjamin at the grocery store. Sometimes he bagged groceries for her line, and she got to talk to him for a few minutes.

“Hey Benjamin” she would say “How is it going?”

“Oh Sasha, you know...” he would say.

She knew. She knew.

She liked his shoulders, not too broad. Not too skinny. A perfect hanger for his grocery store uniform. She liked when he said “you know...” to her. Like she knew him well enough to know, like they didn’t need to communicate really, just you know.

Benjamin didn’t have a lot of friends at the grocery store. When he was alone in the stock room he would put on his headphones and listen to U2. Sometimes he talked to the girl in the deli named Stella. She had long black hair and no stomach. Sometimes he bought a doughnut and walked along the sidewalk of the strip mall.

The first time she saw Benjamin outside of work they were in a dive bar down the street. She didn’t expect to see him. He was drunk.

“Hows it going Benjamin?”

“Oh, you know...”

She was in love.

That night she slept with Will.

She didn’t mean to, she just didn’t have enough money for a cab. And when he offered to share one, he looked different. Maybe it was the dim cab light. Maybe it was the house rum and diet coke. Maybe it was you know. She took him home.

The sex was bad.

Will worked in the produce department. He was not serious about his job. He was very attractive. He was not good in bed.

Sasha was not happy about sleeping with Will. She didn’t go to work for three days. He called her the third day. He was drunk. “No Will” she said. “Why?” he asked. “You know.” she said.

He didn’t know. He wasn’t very bright.

The next time Benjamin bagged the groceries in her line, her eyes were burning. Her hands were a little shaky. “I’ve got a secret, Ben” she said to him.

“Yeah?” he said.

“I slept with Will” she said. She turned bright red.

“Oh?” said Benjamin. “Wow.”

“I know,” she said. “He was bad in bed.”

"I slept with Stella.” he said. “But don’t tell anyone. You know.”

“Oh” she said. “I know” she said. She didn’t mean it. Her heart dropped to the bottom of her shoe.