your sad fate

you
had
two
girlfriends
and
now
you
have
none.

la fin de la fin de la fin

maybe my heart is bigger than your heart?
and my eyes half closed.
your lies would be less bitter if you thought you were wrong

but you aren' t the only one spinning stories
i lied too-- when i told you i love you

i thought i loved you
i thought i loved you because it was hard



you can spend 10 hours making a cake

but no one will eat it

if there's no sugar inside.

the offer

a little list on yellow legal pad
one side: [france]
one side: [US]
a silly little list

both sides, started organized and with straight penmanship, suddenly falling apart- turning to scribbled words, double underlining, circles and stars

pain au chocolat*notre dame*parc des poetes*the firm*les marches aux puces*steak tartar*

my brother*convenience*a garden*thanksgiving*the comfort*service*heat

...
the autumn wind*bordeaux with the girls*cobblestone*verlan text messages*centre pompidou*

a big kitchen*craft stores*netflix nights with gin and tonic*brunches*florida beaches from my youth...



when i start listing names it gets really messy.


there is no man on either side
and my heart seems to be

just in the middle
<3

jealous

he said
i thought of you last night
\
my eyes light up
yeah?
/
i watched a film with a /very/ jealous boyfriend
he called and she didn't answer
he went all the way to her house screaming!!
\\\///

i said




from you?




not funny.

coincé

we stopped to kiss in front of the catholic church on rue poincarré after a dinner of tartar at my favorite little place. "jolie église" he said. his eyes grazed my body,

"you're wearing a white dress" he said, and lightly tugged my wrist toward the church doors.

the last time we slept together we didn't even make love. we were both so tired. so tired.

its always a problem connecting people and places. to the extent that leaving one makes leaving the other seem like the only option.